Why I'm Here

No, I don't mean why I exist or any deep shit like that. I mean literally why I'm here on Blogger posting my opinions about existence and the universe and everything in between as if anyone cared what yet another anonymous asshole on the internet has to say. Start with the easy questions, I say, because if you start with the hard stuff you're just going to come away empty handed.

So why am I here?

It's 4:30 in the morning, I'm bored, I just drank a can of Red Bull to finish some work up and I can't go back to sleep now that I've finished it. I'm sure that by now you're all salivating with excitement upon reading about the tidal wave of awesomeness that is my life. But stick with me here. I'm not here to bore you like all those other fucks with nice detailed descriptions of the massive dump I took today or the "omg best sandwich evar" I ate yesterday. Instead, I'm here to bore (or shock or offend or entertain) you with various angry rants on philosophical topics. Actually, that was a lie. I'm here because I like posting this shit up for people to read, whether or not they actually read it. And presumably you're here because you like to read this kind of shit, or else you wouldn't have made it this far. So we both know why we're here. At least that's a start.