Adventures of blasphemy, anger, and failure in philosophy

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Serious Man

Disclaimer: I do not think all the settlers are terrorists, although they all are in violation of international law and are a provocation for the Palestinian terrorists. But many of them are terrorists in their own right, the ones who harass the Palestinians, who build settlements in Arab towns and then introduce a zillion checkpoints, who feel they need a wall zigzagging its way across the West Bank, the religious ones who think that they really have the right to the land because an old book says so. They are terrorists, as much as any Hamas commander is. The only difference is, they have a state and army backing them very openly and directly and Hamas doesn't.

Continuing my last post about MidEast peace (a pipe dream if there ever was one) I'm going to give the Israelis a recipe on how to achieve it. They're never doing to do it, because the settlers are assholes, and they are an amazingly powerful political force in Israel. But I'll suggest anyway so later I can say "See? You shoulda listened to me!"

The key is this: Israel needs to show that it is SERIOUS about both destroying terrorist organizations and about peace. Right now, it's neither, which is the worst idea ever. I am an Israeli nationalist and an unapologetic supporter of democracy, but if the IAF decided to take over the country, it would be fine with me as long as they stop the retarded shit that is Israeli foreign policy right now.

Immediate Solution #1: Least likely to happen, most likely to succeed if it did happen:

Disenfranchisement: Any Israeli citizen must live in Eretz Israel (i.e. within the pre-1967 boundaries or within Jerusalem) in order to have the vote. Discourages settlement AND freezes the retard settlers out of the voting process instantaneously. Justification: settlers are violating international law. Result: Israeli government would by default right itself.

Solution #2:

Last post I described how Israel should get serious with terrorism (come on! if someone stole and then broke your TV, would you PAY them to get it back? well, that's exactly what exchanging prisoners for Israeli BODIES is! the only thing it'll do is create MORE Israeli bodies that you'll have to pay more for, dumbshits!), so consider this solution to already contain the "Soviet plan" for dealing with terrorism. The second part is a settlement construction freeze. Not the scared-ass freeze like now, where the Israeli terrorists (oops, I meant to say "settlers") can build and harass the Palestinian non-terrorist people all they want (face it, settler violence doesn't distinguish between the terrorists and the scared poor people the way the Army does). No, in this freeze, any attempt for new construction is met by the Army coming and blowing up the new building, and then confiscating all the heavy construction equipment and arresting a few terro- oops, my bad, "settlers" just to make a fucking point.

Then, (as long as I'm dreaming, I might as well make it my "best of all worlds" scenario) throw the Israeli "settlers" in jail with the Palestinian terrorists - the real terrorists, mind you, not the people who accidentally left a wrench in their car when they came to the checkpoint - and videotape it. I'd pay a lot of money to see those creeps beat the snot out each other in jail, I really would. It would also be nice if they threw the American evangelists in too, just for kicks, like Pat Robertson who thinks his perfect God of justice killed thousands in Port Au Prince because their ancestors made a pact with the devil (and not even an evil pact, from what I'd read Robertson thought that the devil was a pretty nice guy, offered to free the slaves from their French masters). It'd be just like they all wanted, them fighting each other, only this way they won't bother everyone else who just wants to be fucking left alone.

Actually, that's my real dream: a massive fistfight between Pat Robertson, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter on one side, with Osama Bin Laden, Mullah Nasrullah, Ayatollah Khameini, Mullah Omar, Ahmadinejad, and Omar Al-Bashir on the other, a good bloody fight to the death where no one really wins.

Oh, if only...

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