(1) Pascal's Wager: There is x probability that God exists, and 1-x probability that he doesn't but there is infinite reward for believing if he exists and non-infinite reward for non-belief if he doesn't, so therefore you should believe.
Great. Tell you what, send me $10,000 in cash and I'll not only give you infinite money in two month's time, I'll get you into heaven guaranteed. It's too good a deal for a smart guy like you to pass off, and space is limited.
(2) Learn to respect the mystery of life.
Sure, as soon as you respect the mystery of why you have a fever or why your car broke down.
(3) Your ideas threaten our humanity.
Hundreds of years ago, part of our 'humanity' was susceptibility to things like smallpox and bubonic plague, but I don't see very many people whining about their disappearance.
(4) Your ideas are all based on other ideas. Even the concept of 'idea' is an idea. How can you argue for the correctness of your system when you make such fundamental assumptions?
Everything, even logic, needs a starting point, and I make sure this starting point is as basic and solid as it possibly can be. If you're asking for an axiom-less system, feel free to sit helplessly with your thumb up your ass without even bothering to think for fear of the possibility of doubt.
(5) (related to #4, but not quite the same) All people filter reality through beliefs, thus beliefs can alter reality as they wish, thus there exist only beliefs, not reality.
As Yudkowsky says, everyone eats food through their mouths, and these mouths filter the taste of the food, so there is no food, only mouths. If you can filter your reality, why are you arguing with me anyway, instead of willing a frozen block of lavatory waste to flatten me where I stand?
(6) You have to respect my beliefs.
Nope.
(7) By the idea of Black Swans (this opinion is usually given by that curious new breed of idiots who think they understand 'The Black Swan' and like to cite it a lot) you can't predict the future since an improbable event will dominate it, so why even try?
Yes, you're right of course. The best course to dealing with unknowns is to put your fingers in your ears and hum as loudly as you can, I'm sure that will take care of it.
(8) You argue against faith in God, but you have faith in logic.
If you deny logic you lose your right to a logical response (same as denying God removes the possibility of a theistic response). In that vein, go fuck yourself you hypocritical piece of shit.
(9) Corporations threaten ancient and beautiful cultures! You can't support their evil ways!
Exactly, the Wall-Macht is driving into charming little towns in their discount Panzers for the greater glory of Fuhrer Walton. The fact that the locals shop there and work there of their own free will doesn't mean anything, nor does the fact that you're treating their technologically-deprived little 'idyllic' towns and lives as something you can view for your own pleasure rather than, you know, towns filled with people who'd like access to things like medicine and the internet thankyouverymuch.
(10) Don't question a war-time leader.
Sure, because the best way to make sure someone is doing their job properly is to ignore any mistakes you see them make. That's why it was smart for Soviet commanders not to question Stalin's order to not respond to German attacks in 1941.
(11) You shouldn't interfere with [insert process x here - it's usually aging or death] because it is a natural thing.
I hate the idea that natural = good. Go back to your mud huts and your malaria and smallpox and illiteracy you hypocritical twat. The mere fact that you're arguing this means you don't practice what you preach, and that fact makes you not only an asshole, but not worth further arguing with.
(12) Your belief in Free Will is like trying to impose a desirable face on a reality that can't accept it. (The guy who said this also said he believed in determinism because it's more consistent with the guiding ideology behind science - excuse me for asking, but isn't THAT trying to impose a desirable face on reality?)
No it isn't. Heisenberg Uncertainty means the question is meaningless for practical purposes, so neither side is more 'acceptable'. Also, your determinist viewpoint has no place for consciousness, which obviously exists, so you need to fix that gaping hole. Also, free will isn't more 'desirable', it's just the only useful assumption you can make.
And, for good measure, some popular sayings:
(13) You can't have your cake and eat it too.
What the hell do you want me to do with a cake other than eat it? Mount it in a display case so I can "have" it? (note: I thought of this BEFORE yahtzee put it in a Zero Punctuation video)
(14) What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.
Cool. Mind if I strengthen you by taking all your money and burning down your house?
(15) What goes up must come down.
Except Voyager.
(16) Turn the other cheek.
Such a dumb saying I don't even know where to begin. Unless it's about passive-aggressive behavior, this just about does it for sheer idiocy. Turn the other cheek when hit? No, stab the fucker, then nobody else will hit you.
(17) Slow and steady wins the race.
Fast and steady tends to do better. The fable itself is fine, but the moral ought to be "don't stop until you've crossed the finish line you fucking idiot".
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